First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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