Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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