Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
