It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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