Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
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I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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