the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
