Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
