Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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