Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
