Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
