Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
