Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
