i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
