Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
