Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS