Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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