she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
