Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
