like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
