well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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