his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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