I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
