its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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