last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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