put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
