I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
