my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
