i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
