Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
