im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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