when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
