i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
