Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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