Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize