WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
