Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
