Only a mothe r could love this liver
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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