when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
there is glitter all over my balls
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