just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
