My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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