I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize