I heard we made out
My hand turned me down
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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