i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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