Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
