I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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