Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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