I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
