Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
