btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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