im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
