so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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