apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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