I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
