Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
