I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
