Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
