I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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