Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
