Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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